Oh Great, Another Wedding Blog
So, why did I want to create Black2Wed when there are so many dope wedding blogs already out there? It’s a good question, especially since my 42-year-old self has never been married. Well, I was engaged once but ya’ll, that’s a story for another blog. Besides, I wasn’t one of those chicks who imagined their wedding day from jump. As a kid, the only things my tomboy self knew for sure were that I loved the color purple more than white, and if I ever managed to get married, I’d end up eloping to whatever courthouse was closest to the best taco spot. I had no clue then that dreaming up the anti-bride’s answer to wedding planning was gonna have any place in my future.
The Wedding that Never Was
Fast forward about 16 years to engaged me at 26. By then I’d also pocketed about 5 years of event planning experience. That know-how meant I wasn’t a newbie when it came to weddings, but it sure felt like I was. Mostly because I couldn’t pinpoint how the me I knew myself to be, was supposed to fit into the traditional wedding-mold. All I cared about were three things:
- Saying vows to my man
- Making that commitment before my God
- Being surrounded by my people
- (And by my people, I meant the ones I talked to on a regular basis. The ones who held me up during my relationship. The ones I couldn’t imagine not being there as I made the biggest commitment of my life. Keep that in mind ladies, it helped make my invite list hella small.)
Oh wait, if I’m honest, my essentials also included dancing all night, really good single malt scotch, and phenomenal food. But my guy and certain members of my family, well, they weren’t having any part of that; even when I simmered myself down to the most minuscule bucking of the wedding system.
Like, I told my bridesmaids they could wear whatever they wanted as long as it was black. (This was back in the early 2000’s when such a thing was still seen as taboo – black, at a wedding! Was I crazy!?!)
I really wanted to wear a pantsuit if I was gonna have to wear white, but my guy begged me not to. Plus, I desperately wanted those tacos as part of the reception ya’ll. I really really did. But it wasn’t deemed proper. Neither were the giant champagne glasses I found to use as our toasting flutes, (again, hubby-to-be at the time wasn’t having it).
The Final Formation of an Anti-Bride
In the end, that relationship ended, as it was meant to. And weddings were work. The only time I thought about them was when I was planning them for someone else. Every time I did, I’d think what a shame the pics resulting from those nuptials were damn near interchangeable. You could swap out the head of one bride in her white dress, plop her on the body of another, and barely bat an eye at the difference.
Please know that the anti-bride’s answer to wedding planning is not a dig at those who love a traditional wedding – Lord knows you’re in good company. But I couldn’t help wondering what happened to the uniquely lovely couples I’d interact with when it came to their wedding day. Where was the personality I saw? The love of color? The endearing awkwardness – sometimes coupled with a familiar level of ratchetness,(yes that is me, I am also sometimes ratchet), missing on the day they said vows? Real talk, who decided what a wedding was supposed to be in the first place? Why can’t we be who we are when we’re celebrating the love of our lives? In fact, shouldn’t the moment we say, I do, be the moment when we are expressing our truest, realest self?
I’ve thought about my own wedding now more than ever, (42 will do that to you). About how if/when the time comes, I won’t be beholden to anybody’s expectations but my own. How’d I’d wear a purple pantsuit if I wanted. How the totality of it would be a true reflection of me and my love.
I’m never gonna be bridal in the bridal way. What inspires me is uniqueness and individuality brazenly put on display. To cap all that off – I’ll forever be driven to support as many black owned spots out there as possible – because the monopoly on weddings is centered around the color white in more ways than one.
Daydreaming has led me to peruse a wedding blog or two. While the images are always beyond beautiful, I never see me in those images. Both because the majority of them feature white brides, (except for sites like Munalcuhi Bride and Bride Navy, I see you!). And because, well, I’m never gonna be bridal in the bridal way. What inspires me is uniqueness and individuality brazenly put on display. To cap all that off – I’ll forever be driven to support as many black owned spots out there as possible – because the monopoly on weddings is centered around the color white in more ways than one.
Black2Wed – the Anti-Bride’s Answer to Wedding Planning is Born
The more time spent thinking on this, the more I figured there had to be other women out there wanting the same thing. Plus I’ve collected over 15 years of Event Coordination experience to pull from. Not to mention the quick stint making custom wedding cakes post graduation from the Institute of Culinary Education. I have the experience and the desire, so why not put my money where my mouth is? Why not create an anti-bride inspiration database for those awkward, silly, grown, sexy, strange-birds like myself?
So that’s how Black2Wed came to be. And that’s what I hope it is for you. Something placing you square in the wedding-world without excuse or compromise. Props to you lovely, for being brave enough to crush the mold into tiny little pieces in honor of your true self. Even if we never met, know I’ll be cheering you on from afar for having the wedding of your dreams, and nobody-frickin-else’s.